When I stopped being a professional and started being a problem.
Welcome to the ADVANCED-Comfort Blog.
This space is for families, staff, and anyone trying to make care more personal,
especially for people living with advanced dementia. In this first post, I’m starting with a
story that continues to shape the way I think about care.
I hold a PhD in nursing and have practiced as a gerontological nurse practitioner for
many years. I’ve educated healthcare professionals, published research on dementia
care, and led discussions where critical healthcare decisions were made. But when my
loved one entered the healthcare system, I quickly learned that none of that mattered.
I became the daughter—and not in the good way.
It started with small things: unanswered phone calls, updates that didn’t come, staff who
didn’t quite look me in the eye. But the deeper truth was harder to face. In the eyes of
the system, I was no longer a professional with expertise. I was now an unwelcome
visitor with emotions. A daughter who might ask too many questions.
And so I learned what many family caregivers learn when they walk through those
facility doors: Your relationship with your loved one changes, and your role in the
healthcare system is suddenly unclear.
Why ADVANCED-Comfort Matters
This experience deepened my conviction that care must be more than clinical. It must
be personal, compassionate, and grounded in what matters to each individual and
their family. That’s the heart of ADVANCED-Comfort—a care framework that includes
the 6M Care Planning Tool, designed to guide meaningful conversations between staff
and families across six key areas:
- What Matters
- Meaningful Activities
- Mealtimes
- Medications & Treatments
- Mobility
- Make Personal Care Comfortable
This tool is more than a form—it’s a bridge. A way to make sure care reflects the
person, not just the diagnosis.
You Are Not Alone
If you’ve ever felt dismissed, excluded, or unsure how to speak up—you are not alone.
I’ve been there and so have countless other families.
ADVANCED-Comfort was created to help you show up with clarity, confidence, and
compassion.
Start here:
Download the 6M Care Planning Tool
Watch a short video on how it works
Me and my dad, years before I became “the
daughter.”
